


Delirium

by chuya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anger Management, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Explicit Sexual Content, How Do I Tag, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Organized Crime, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prostitution, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Underage Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 22:38:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11240730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuya/pseuds/chuya
Summary: As a way of redemption, Shizuo seeks for a normal life but a stranger with a shady smile came to sweep out that from him. Izaya Orihara, a man full of secrets and cunning smiles dragged him towards another path that was far from what Shizuo deemed normal.Shizuo not only begins to learn how dark he cold become, but also how humanity could be much worse than him.





	Delirium

Holding his temper wasn't among Shizuo's virtues. He thinks he might have an aneurysm soon.

The glass squeaked as he cleaned it but not of cleanliness. Jaw clenched, and shoulders stiff like wood the blabbering of a man drunk to his senses drilled his head.

"A woman shouldn't wear such short skirts if she doesn't want to have some attention..."

His knuckles turned white with the glass shattering voice of that drunk imbecile. Too many times Tom had already told him to stop bothering the female clients. He barked but didn’t bite but today he felt rather bold. How he was beginning to slid his hand up the girl’s skirt was enough to shoot the adrenaline inside Shizuo’s system.  It was disgusting. She was a young girl barely of age to drink, her baby face and naive eyes had Shizuo ask for her I.D. before allowing her to stay here.  She  had come with another girl but she was nowhere in sight. The man’s cue to prey over her.  Rolls of sweat fell down his forehead and a blush spread all over his face. He preyed at her with lewd eyes. Dressed so neat in that black suit made him look even gross.

She almost fell of the chair trying her best to slip out of his alcohol reeking breath. Nervous eyes, a hand trying to create distance, and a murmur asking for him to stop but the man didn't get that "no" was "no".

“Ohoho come on, kitten! You’ll lik- AHH!” A loud thud, glasses clinked in the counter, and a loud gasp. His feet dangled in the air. With a brusque movement he gripped the bartender’s fist straining the neck of his neat shirt.  “She’s not interested.” Shizuo's voice was stern, collected with an obvious pinch of aggressiveness.  The bartender had wielded him like a rag doll.  Their eyes met and the drunk knew he was going to see those eyes in his most vicious nightmares. They burned, and were soaked in red fury. Eyes he had never seen before and he will pray to never see again.

 

“Now get the hell out of my bar before I kick you out so hard your nuts will reach your throat.” The customer nodded frantic making pathetic noises Shizuo interpreted as an apology. He loosened his grip letting the man pound on the floor knocking out the seat in the way. In between gasps and trembles he managed to stand up and ran away like a whimpering dog.

 

Shizuo tsked and grabbed a rag from down the counter to mop the spilled alcohol.

“Thank you very much...” The girl said. Her voice sweet, relieved and a little embarrassed. Even though she was of age, she was too young to be wasting her time in places like this.

"Oh my god, Sai! What happened? Are you alright?" A girl with a black dress and jacket worried. "Did he do something to you?" Sai shook her head and her friend let out a dramatic relief sigh.

"Thank god" She leaned her head in her shoulder. By the way the other leaned her head on hers, he could tell they were close. "Bartender san, was kind enough to scare him off." She smiled at Shizuo. The other girl turned her head still with it on Sai's shoulder. "Thank you very much. I got out of the bathroom and was about to kick his ass for being so close to my poor little sister!" She hugged her tight making a remark of protectiveness. "Oh! Mao called me, they are already waiting for us!" She said "How much will it be for the drinks?"

"It's nothing." Shizuo spoke "Take it as our apology for the inconvenience." The girl’s eyes brightened and left the place with a huge smile thanking Shizuo once more along with her little sister who muttered her thanks and gripped her sister’s arm.

Interesting sisters, Shizuo thought. They were complete opposites, yet they looked almost identical. Shizuo felt an itch inside him for the disgusting man. For god’s sake, she still looked like a child! If he could he would kick him until he passed out for being such a pervert. Just imagining what went through that sick man’s mind made him uneasy, throwing the rag over his shoulder his fingers itched to grab a cigarette.

 

“Such a brave man” A voice spoke to his left “Kicking some assholes and saving damsels in distress.” A pale man leaning his cheek against his hand said with a smirk plastered in his face. Shizuo recognized him. He was a new customer that had become a frequent this week. Usually he ordered something quick and went to the private tables. Being here so often let him be witness of these little incidents. Shizuo had noticed how he silently snickered at them, and today it seemed it was no different. The shady curl in the corner of his lips made something twitch inside of the bartender. He  had never wanted to smash someone’s face against the counter as bad  as he did now,

 

“It’s my job."

 

“Hmm, that would be unless you were  the bouncer, but I guess some people need more than one job.” The man circled his glass playing with the remaining liquid.  “With all that strength you must be popular within the ladies...” Shizuo ignores the comment and throws the broken pieces of glass in the bin behind him. Catching a look at the stranger reflected in the mirror wall behind the counter.. He wore that same black jacket with ugly fur he had seen him wear. He had sharp cheekbones and brown eyes with a red glimpse, that somehow reminded Shizuo of  blood. Underneath all black clothes he looked even skinnier, does this guy eat at all?  

Shady guy  plays idle with his glass still. Shizuo thinks he had seen him before in some other place but he isn't sure where or why. Their eyes meet in the mirror, amused he leans in the counter and stares at Shizuo's reflection.

 

Caught.

 

Shizuo turned away annoyed and the other one looks amused by the action.  He drank the misery of drink he had left and put it down with a small clink. “...or quite the contrary. Being honest such a beast wouldn’t be that attractive. Prince charming would be something if you actually looked like one but if you hug someone I bet you’ll pulverize all the vertebrae.”

“What did you-?” The man laughed interrupting him and put some cash on the counter. “See you around, Shizu chan.” He waved and smiled so wide he could almost see that little heart leaving his face like in  a manga drawing. Like usual he disappeared in the same shadows towards the private tables.

 

That was the first real interaction he had with Kanra. After that every night of that week he came to the bar. He ordered and wouldn't leave without making a suggestive comment or tease him to annoy the hell out of him. He wanted so bad to smash his face with one of the tables but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t ruin the place his brother so kindly had help him put.

 

Before this bar Shizuo had lost jobs all the time because he was like a match that would burn at the littlest spark. The customer was taking too long, he yelled at him. The customer was rude to one of the waitress, he punched them in the face. He wasn’t in school anymore throwing desks at other students, he was living an adult life throwing tables at annoying customers. He had worked for a while as a debt collector but that didn’t work out as well. After the incident, Shizuo realised he was getting out of control.

 

He felt so ashamed and monstrous after it.

 

He realized he needed help when he almost threw another fridge at Kasuka.

 

His brother was too benevolent with him. He didn’t flinch  when it had happened the first nor the last time, but Shizuo wish he did. Sometimes he didn’t know if his brother meant it when he said he wasn’t scared of him.

 

His strength isn't normal. He isn't normal. On lonely days Shizuo wishes he knew how to not be angry.

 

Sometimes Shizuo thinks he belongs in a freak show.

 

Sometimes Shizuo wishes he didn’t have arms so he couldn’t lift anything.

 

Sometimes Shizuo thinks he doesn’t deserve to live in this world.

 

“What is Shizu chan thinking about so deeply?” The man leaning in the counter looked at him with intent .

 

 _Shit._ Water dripped down the overflowed glass. He hadn’t realised he had shortly zoned out.  He put the bottle to the side and cleaned his mess. A little laugh left Kanra as he watched him like if he was his own personal show.

He felt a vein begin to pop as he met the other’s gaze. He looked at him like if he was studying him, and that little smile was beyond hideous. He had to hold back his fist from it wanting it to kiss his lips. “None of your business” He spat out handing (tossing) the drink to him - _was he pouting?_

“How rude.” Kanra said but he didn’t see affected at all. “Is it bad to take a little interest in someone? You seemed troubled.”

“Why the hell would you have an interest in me, flea?” Shizuo glared at him.

“Oooh that far already into our relationship? Now we have cute pet names for the other?” The flea side grinned, having too much fun for someone who is potential punch bag material.

“You have a weird way of flirting, have someone told you that before?”  He turned away a voice inside of him repeating over and over again ‘just go away’.

“Two shots of Vodka” A man sitting a couple seats away ordered. Shizuo nodded and assisted him.

“Who said I was flirting? I like teasing you.” He raised two fingers for him to see. “Two very different things. If I had flirted with you our conversations would end up _much more different_.” His voice laced with an innuendo underneath. “Shizu chan,you must think too highly of yourself to think I was actually hitting on you.” He gloated and Shizuo felt his face hot, not a blush, because he wasn’t definitely interested in such thing.. His voice, his face, he had never been this affected by anyone. He wanted so bad to shut his mouth, the self control he had built was slipping away. The bottle of Vodka in his hand shattered.

“Oi, Shizuo!” Someone spoke but it was vague, he wanted so bad to kill that flea. “Kadota needs you in the kitchen. I’ll take care of the rest.” Tom  rushed to his side in a hurry. He knew Shizuo was about to snap so he began to drag him from his arm before the situation could escalate further. Shizuo’s jaw clenched, he felt like a rabid dog, so close to take the first bite. His first victim in a long time.

A sharp cold brought him back to reality. His eyes cleared and noticed he wasn’t in the counter anymore. His hair sticking to his forehead wet and dripping, he saw Tom in front of him still holding a glass on top of his head.

“Tom san” Shizuo blinked. He looked around and saw himself in the middle of the kitchen. Kadota was not minding them from the oven while Walker peeked at them from behind him with curiosity.

“Sorry for that “-Tom spoke “but your face was so hot, I thought you were gonna combust right there.”

“It’s been so long since I last saw Shizuo so close to snap! What do you think happened, Kadota?” Walker said not too loud but loud enough, not caring if Shizuo heard him or not.

“I’ll tell you what happened!” Karisawa lashed the door with glinting eyes “A cute guy was hitting on Shizuo but he was too flustered about it! Also cute guy said he wasn’t doing so when in reality is obvious he wants to get in Shizuo’s pants!”

“This is not a BL, Erika” Kadota said not taking his eyes away from the burger he was cooking.

“You have a squared imagination, Dotachin.” She fumed, but the smile was back at her. She waltzed in the kitchen rambling about kisses, dates, flowers and- did she just say bondage?

“Anyways. Stay here for a while, eat something and take care of that” He pointed at Shizuo’s bleeding hand. Strange he didn’t remember how that happened. “Don’t get out of here until you've cooled down and bandaged that.”

 

Shizuo nodded and stayed for around half an hour. He sat down and cleaned his wound and bandaged his hand like Tom said. He helped Kadota and Walker passing them some ingredients every now and then from his seat. When he went back to his place at the counter he found Kanra’s seat empty.  The glass was empty as well, underneath peaked a folded napkin.

Shizuo picked it up and unfolded it. The first thing he noticed was the handwriting. Cursive letters overlapped with script ones. The letters fell down the paper like if they melted but they weren’t ugly. It seemed elegantly informal. It’s an odd way of writing, he thinks.

 

 _“A bat in a village without birds”_ it read. Nothing else, not a number not a name. Shizuo looked at it confused. Did Kanra left this note for him? Why would he do that? It made no sense at all. Was he trying to mess with his head still? Shizuo made a face, shrugged the note in his pants' pockets going back to work and tried to not give it much thought.

 

The night was hectic as usual in a Friday night. Customers come and go. Orders taken, drinks given, thankfully no one was kicked out of the bar tonight.

“I’m exhausted!” Karisawa let her weight down on Walker’s back “Carry me home! I don’t want to walk!” She exclaimed and walker took the pose of a soldier carrying her on his back. They stopped right in the door waving loud goodbyes at the rest who were finishing picking up chairs.

“I should get going too” Kadota said taking his bag from one of the tables.

“Wait for me. I’m going too.” Tom said and turned the lights of the kitchen off. “You need help on something else?” He stopped beside Shizuo who shook his head.

“No, I’ll just take out the trash and head up to rest. Go get some rest the two of you.”

“Alright. Take care. Don’t forget to lock up the place.” Kadota nodded as a goodbye and both headed out of the place leaving Shizuo alone in the silent bar.

 

Shizuo stretched his shoulders throwing his head back for a moment. God, he's exhausted. He should fall asleep right here on the floor. But that would be too uncomfortable and he would definitely regret it in the morning.

He sighed and went to tie up the big black bag that was waiting for him in the kitchen’s door. It wasn’t that heavy, with the bag in one hand he walked to the back door.

 

The sound of cars and crickets welcomed him to the humid night. When he opened the empty container and dropped the bag inside a fiery beast of gray fur demanded his attention. Fangs and claws pulled at the fabric around his ankles. Shizuo dropped his gaze down meeting the beast. Blue eyes stared at him before it fell down landing on it's own back. Shizuo reached down aiding the beast from it's fall. A warmth smile pulled in his lips when he earned a purr of approval as he petted it's head with one finger.

 

“Dorobō san, how you’ve been?” He took out of his vest a small package of salt cookies and opened it for the tiny beast beside the plate still full of water. Dorobō, was a kitten with big blue eyes and gray fur he suspects is shades lighter when clean. A small and fiery thief that lingered around his house and bar since last month.

 

It was late at night when Shizuo heard a loud thud coming from the kitchen. It was either a misplaced object or an intruder, but since everyone left hours ago it should have fallen sooner.  Shizuo left the comfort of his apartment and walked downstairs to investigate. As he headed downstairs objects fell in a catastrophe in the kitchen. Shizuo scanned the place for any intruder but found no one. When he turned on the light he found mud on the floor. A dancing bag of bread throwing to the floor everything in it's way like a parody of Godzilla. Shizuo looked at it confused. Walking aimlessly, it stamp against the wall  and fell down the table. Shizuo caught it before it reached the floor. Unmasking the thief, he met blue eyes and a tiny face covered in mud with bread crumbs all over it's whiskers. It was adorable. Shizuo let him eat the last bun of bread he was trying to reach in the bag and cleaned its face with a wet towel.

After that he felt bad of taking him out but he couldn't take care of a cat. He didn't want to hurt the little thief in any way. Instead of bringing him upstairs he let him sleep beside the kitchen door with an old blanket instead. Next morning Shizuo found it empty but discovered it had gone back outside. Near the trash container it slept in a dirty pink blanket. As much as Shizuo tried to made the cat comfortable in the bar (he even dragged the blanket inside) the cat refused. He would always go back to its place beside the trash container. Shizuo didn’t understand why but he let him be and brought him food and water every night instead.

 

“You piece of shit!” Someone yelled snatching Shizuo from his thoughts. He stopped petting Dorobō and turned his head looking for the source. Feat slipped forcefully in the still wet pavement from the afternoon rain. Two figures struggled  in the dark at the end of the alley. One had their back against the wall the other had their hands gripping the front of the other’s shirt.

Shizuo stood up. Dark alley and fights, it was always a huge no to get close for anyone in it's right judgement.  Willing to ignore it he made his way back to the door. He pushed it but stopped in his tracks when he heard a loud gasp.

The one against the wall hunched gripping his stomach. The door was much more closer than the container was from them, a ray of moonlight let him make the silhouettes in the dark. The hurt one was too small and the attacker was robust and much taller than him. Definitely not a fair fight. Shizuo stepped back letting the door close again.

“Oi! Leave him alone!” Shizuo called and both turned to look at him. The light hit straight at the thin one as he turned around. Pale skin, those eyes and that fur. No way...

“Shizu chan! Fancy seeing you here!” He made a toothy smile and the attacker pushed Kanra against the wall again hitting the back of his head with it. Shizuo rushed when he saw the pained expression as he reached the back of his head with his hand to stop the pain.

“This is none of your business, bartender!” The stranger screamed

“Well this fight doesn’t seem fair at all so it’s my business now.” Shizuo retorted and the neck of his shirt tensed. The attacker gripping it threw his fist in the air ready to hit Shizuo.  Before he could react or the other attack, a loud breathless laugh pierced through. Both confused turned their heads.

“Ah sorry, I couldn’t resist myself!” He said in huffs of laughter.

"What's so funny about this?" Shizuo asked annoyed. Kanra tried to regain his breath. It took a while before he cleared his throat and regained his composure to  a more serious stance.

“Idiot san, leave Shizu alone. Tell your boss the deal will be held soon.” He stepped between them separating them, and stood giving his back to Shizuo. “Shizu here is an old customer, I had business to attend with him.”

“I don’t care who the hell he is!” The thug shoved away Shizuo’s clothes and balanced his fist towards Kanra who caught in the air. “Seriously, why the hell were you hired? Such impulsiveness, it would only bring trouble. Ah but I guess he has a sense of humour, doesn’t he?” He twisted his arm backward and the thug fell down to his knees howling in pain. Kanra leaned close to him “Now if you don’t mind us, we have a deal to close. Give this to your boss.” He threw a USB at the floor in front of him  “Tell him Orihara Izaya never lies about business.” His voice was lower and menacing as he glared at the man. “Also, a piece of advice, you hit me again for an innocent joke and I would definitely make you _pay_. You don’t want Misa chan to get your dick in a box, do you?”

“Izaya?” Shizuo asked confused and he loosened the grip on the man’s arm.

He crawled away from him and took the USB from the floor gripping it tight close to his chest like his life depended on it. Probably it did. “ How do you know about her?!”

The flea smiled like a schoolgirl but underneath it was far from innocent, he shrugged and placed a finger in his lips “Secret” he winked and the guy terrified sprinted past them.

“Ah Shizu chan.” With a swift movement he turned around. “Thanks, but I don't need you to be a knight in shining armour." He patted Shizuo's chest. "We both know it suits you better to be the ugly monster that guards the castle."

“What is wrong with you?!” Shizuo separated from him shoving his hand away from him.

“Secret” He winked at Shizuo and walked past him leaving him with a huge headache. Why the hell is he so annoying? Who the hell he thinks he is? And to think he was willing to help him, that bastard.

 

“Wait. Is Orihara Izaya your real name?”

 

Kanra- or Izaya stopped for a moment but didn’t answer, instead he waved his hand without turning back “See you around, protozoan!” He vociferated disappearing before Shizuo could hit him with the trash container.


End file.
